The other day, I was shopping with a friend and we came across an AMAZING dress. On the hanger it was everything she wanted, interesting pattern, great length, a cut she usually loves… it had major hanger appeal. We ran to the dressing room to see this beauty on her STAT.
Once she had it on, it no longer was the dream dress we had created in our minds. It was big in some places, smaller in others. The print ended up looking too overwhelming on her body and even though it was a maxi dress... it was hitting her at a weird spot on her ankle. Ugh, so frustrating! As much as I tried to help my friend out of her shame spiral, I could tell she was disappointed. Then she said something that made me stop.dead.in.my.tracks.
She said “If only my boobs were bigger and I was shorter it would fit better.”
Have you ever found yourself criticizing your body because something didn’t fit you?
I hear this all the time from clients and friends and even women on tv. I have something very important to tell you. I want you to listen closely because this is really important.
It’s the CLOTHES not YOU. – tweet it
Why is it that when a piece of clothing disappoints us or doesn’t look how we expected, we immediately wish to change our bodies? It’s not you or anything you’ve done. It really isn’t! It’s just that this particular item of clothing isn’t made for your body.
When a designer decides to make something for a store like Anthropologie (for example), they have fit models come in and those fit models are what they base the shape off of. Every item of clothing isn’t going to fit your body type unless you are the fit model or you are magic. If a pair of pants is too long on you, you need to get them hemmed, not bash your body and say your legs are too short. Get my drift?
There are three ways you can prevent this negative way of thinking from happening again the next time you go shopping:
1) Don’t have any expectations. I know it’s hard. I even find myself seeing something on a hanger or mannequin and getting excited. There’s so much potential for awesomeness! If possible, I’d like you to control your excitement. Wait until you see it on yourself before you plan your next party in it.
2) Remember that clothes can be altered. Somewhere along the line we all collectively decided that clothing has to fit perfectly off the rack. I know it is an added expense, so when you buy the item, factor in the cost of altering it before you purchase. This will make you head to the tailor quicker since the decision was already made (ence not having something in your closet that doesn’t fit.)
3) Don’t dwell on something that doesn't work. Something doesn’t fit? Oh well. Move on. Don’t take it too personally. Chances are you WILL find something else amazing if you aren’t still festering over “the little dress that couldn’t”. I know it can be hard to snap out of a funk, but whatever you can do to move onto something else, the better.
I know this is a HUGE mind shift. All I can ask you is to try and notice it. The more aware you are of this, the less likely you are to let these negative thoughts take over. Is this is something you’ve caught yourself doing? I’d love to hear, in the comments section below, if this is something that resonates with you. You are beautiful, and there are tons of clothes that look gorgeous on you. If that dress doesn’t work, on you, no harm, no foul. Promise girl.
Shopping is one of the main topics we cover in my upcoming online closet rehab course: The Confident Closet. That’s right, we talk about shopping in a closet course. If we are overwhelmed shoppers, or we buy clothes that don’t work for us, our closet can become filled with clothes we don’t wear. So frustrating! If you want to be the first to know about this online course, sign up HERE. You’ll get the scoop FIRST as well as added perks. I know I’m totally biased but I highly recommend popping your email onto this list ladies!