About Melanie

Melanie is a stylist who adores bold prints, local farmers markets, and getting down to 90's music.  Her mission is to make women feel confident through their clothes.  This native New Yorker currently resides in the Bay Area with her fantastic husband, adorable, chubby baby and her impossibly cute puppy.  

Sunday
Apr192015

The Truth Behind "I Have Nothing to Wear"

 How many times have you opened your closet and thought “I have nothing to wear?!”

The first time I realized how frustrating having a closet full of clothes you can’t wear could be, I was about 6 months pregnant.  Your body changes instantly and you don’t really know how to dress it anymore.  Also, all of your favorite clothes don’t fit the same way. So you have to either get creative in your closet or buy maternity clothes that you know also have a pretty short shelf life.  As much as I wanted to love my body, getting dressed wasn’t as fun as it used to be.  And yes… it totally started to affect my self-esteem.

This got worse before it got better too.  Once I gave birth I thought, “Now I can wear all my old clothes again!"  Of course, this was not the case.  My old clothes either weren’t practical to wear while taking care of a baby, didn’t fit me the same anymore, or were no longer my style.  A lot can happen in a year and the majority of my closet no longer felt like me.  I felt stuck.  I didn’t want to throw out my favorite pair of polka dot pants, but it was pretty clear I wasn’t going to be wearing them anytime soon.  That’s some bad closet juju right there!  I knew something had to change and that I needed to become my own client.  What I learned wasn’t just closet changing but completely life changing.

 That common phrase, “I have nothing to wear” actually has a lot of weight to it.  We don’t ever dig deep to figure out WHY we are feeling this way.  Chances are there is a good reason and we are going to get to the bottom of it together.  Promise.

 Most women only wear 20 percent of their closets.  Yep!  That’s it!  That means that when you open your closet, you are looking at 80 percent of things you don’t like or that don’t fit you.  If you are looking at clothes you don’t like, no wonder you don’t feel like you have anything to wear!

My goal as a personal stylist, confidence coach and closet connoisseur is always to help women get a much higher percentage when they open their closets.  Realizing this statistic is the first step in fixing the problem.

There are three main thoughts that cause you to have “I have nothing to wear” syndrome.

1) My clothes don’t fit.

What’s really going on:  Maybe you are like me and you had a sweet little bambino.  Maybe you just lost a ton of weight.   Maybe you are still wearing clothes from your junior high days and your body has changed and your clothes haven’t.  No matter what the reason, if you are opening your closet every morning and nothing fits things have got to change!  I mean how frustrating is that?

 The remedy:  It’s time to go through your closet asking yourself the same question on repeat.  “Is this something I like on my body NOW.”  Not, three months ago, not 4 years ago.  Only keep the clothes that work for you now.

If you are currently in a non-permanent body status (such as on a major diet change or having just had a baby) you need to ask yourself a follow up.  “If this fit me now, would I LOVE it?”  Chances are you are holding onto these items as an idea and not the reality of what it actually looks like on you.

2) Everyone has already seen me in all my clothes.

What’s really going on:  This feeling of “been there, done that” can be SUCH a buzz kill.  I know this is going to sound crazy, but… no one you ACTUALLY care about will care if you wore that dress already.  I know that’s a hard concept and a little harsh but seriously.  What if you took out of the equation the fact that you’ve worn it already and actually thought about if you liked how you felt in it?  More importantly, are you wearing it the same way every time?  You may need to look at your clothes and accessories with a fresh eye.

 The remedy: Girl, you may think it’s time to go shopping but it’s actually time to get creative.  Ask yourself this question: “If I love this dress how can I make it new and exciting again?”  That being said, SOMETIMES we do actually need a few new items to spruce up and replenish our wardrobe.  I am in no way saying to never shop again.  That would be talking crazy.  I do however think you can ask yourself specific questions beforehand to make sure you aren’t just shopping instead of working with what you have.  You’d be surprised at how much a statement necklace and different shoes can change a look.

 3) All my clothes are old and I’m over them.

What’s really going on: This actually tends to be a combo of the above two thoughts.  Why do you feel like your clothes are old?  Is it because they have actually been in your closet for years and are worn in?  Or is it because you’ve been wearing them the same way for so long that they don’t seem new and exciting anymore?  Both those answers are totally valid and legit.  Sometimes your clothes are old, but you are actually keeping them because you have an emotional attachment to them.  That right there is the reason you are holding on to it, even if you never plan on wearing it again.

 The remedy:  You need to start getting real with your clothes.  If something truly is old and you can’t throw it away or donate it, it’s time to start asking “WHY?”.  Are you attached to a memory associated with them?  If you can’t wear it but you love the idea behind it, I’ll cut you a deal.  You can keep FIVE sentimental pieces that don’t fit or are too delicate now to wear.  This may seem like nothing to someone who is deeply attached to her clothes.  But trust me, this is a really helpful exercise and most of my style clients don’t even end up keeping all 5!

 If you are saying your clothes are old it’s probably because they ARE old. It’s time to replace them.  I know where you are coming from.  You bought an amazing gray t-shirt that was so soft and fit just right and you love it beyond all words.  It now has 4 stains and a hole in it.  It’s time to replenish it with a new fresh one.  You don’t have to do anything with it until you buy a new one.  Here’s the kicker, once the new t-shirt is in your possession, you have to let go of the old.  That’s the rule!

 No matter what your closet woe is, there IS a solution.  I have faith that if you ask yourself the right questions and are committed to making a change that you can actually have a closet full of clothes that you wear.  Trust your gut and don’t look back!  

 If this post resonated with you, it’s time to take it to the next level and make a real change.  That’s why I’ve created a FREE video training series The Top Three Mistakes Women Make in Their Closets (and what to do about them).  The first video will go live on Monday May 11th and you DON’T want to miss out.  Make sure you sign up HERE to have the video sent directly to your inbox.  It’s my mission to help as many women as possible to leave their house feeling confident and amazing.  Who knows what we can accomplish when we feel incredible in our clothes?!

With love; from my closet to yours,
Melanie
Photo Cred: Abi Q Photography / Hair and Makeup: Melissa Hoffmann

 

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Reader Comments (4)

OK but what would really be helpful would be a tiny Melanie clone that lives in my closet and tells me what to wear everyday.

April 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

Lindsay... I'm on it!

April 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Thank you for this post! I recently had a sweet baby girl and while I have lost most of the baby weight, my body is still...different. It feels like you gave me the permission to clean out things that don't fit or haven't fit for a long time. My closet and dresser drawers are now organized. I still have a ways to go, but I feel lighter. Thanks!

April 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMargie

Margie, I COMPLETELY get it. I am SO happy this post resonated with you and helped you feel a little lighter! So proud of you!

April 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

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